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  • Nisha Chabaldas

Searching for the most important piece to my puzzle 🧩

Updated: Jan 17, 2022

Hi there! How are you? I’m Nisha, and this is the first blog I’m writing. I would like to share with you my personal experience that led me to a journey of self-awareness.

Do you ever feel you are constantly searching for something in your life and you don’t know what it is? Like a piece of a puzzle 🧩 is missing, and perhaps the most important one.

Do you sometimes search for a validation from outside to complete the emptiness you are feeling and make yourself feel better? “Maybe if I get that salary raise?” “If I change jobs?” “If I start going to the gym?” “If I socialise with new people ?”…

But that constant search never seems to end.

Does it sound familiar? Well, if you’ve ever felt that way, then you are in the right place 😉

Let me start by telling you a little bit about myself.

As a child I was extremely shy with strangers, but a chatterbox when I felt comfortable and protected.

I changed once I went to boarding school at the age of 13. I became friendlier, sociable and learnt to adapt very quickly to different situations. I felt very happy feeling liked by others, I enjoyed being with people and felt more confident with myself.

As I grew up, I realised I had been adapting a lot all my life, in all sorts of situations: at work, with friends, socially, in different environments and cultures. It’s also something I saw a lot at home with my mum. She always taught us the importance to adapt in life.

I adapted very happily. Sometimes because I wanted to, however many times it was because I wanted others to like me, value me, and to fit in. I wanted to feel recognised by people.

I realised I was always looking for validation, love and approval from outside – rather than looking inward and observing how I actually felt.

Have you ever felt similar patterns keep repeating in your life? Like a wake up call! But you choose to ignore it, instead of observing what is actually happening in your life. What is it trying to tell you?

I’ve felt it several times, without realising it was “the call”, and ignored it. However, when I look back now, I probably wasn’t ready to deal with it at that time.

I would notice that sometimes a part of me would feel a bit restless or insecure. However, I would choose to ignore it and distract myself by making plans with friends. At times I would even feel angry with myself for feeling those emotions.

If I felt emptiness inside me, I would try to fill it through an external factor. For example: change of project, treat myself and buy something, meet my friends, join dancing classes, move cities… And so on!

Sometimes I would think of the mistakes I had made and tell myself “I should have done this… I should have done that…”, instead of telling myself first “well done for trying Nisha!”.

Over time, I realised they weren’t even mistakes, but instead part of my learning process. And probably I did the best I could have done at that time. Honestly, at times it’s good to fall. It’s the best way of learning! 😉 🙃

In November 2011 I had a complicated health issue, a serious infection which made me barely able to walk. I had to leave my job in London and return back to Spain. I needed my family to take care of me and it took me almost 9 months to recover. I remember feeling a bit angry and frustrated with myself.

At times, we can be our worst enemy. If a child falls you would first hug the child and check, he/she is ok. You would go out of your way to comfort the child and let him or her know it’s ok. But with ourselves we do the opposite sometimes.

We don’t realise how hard we are on ourselves, how we speak to ourselves, how we judge ourselves. And through the experiences in our life we develop a series of limiting beliefs in our mind. For example: “I’m not good enough”, “I am not confident enough”.

As a result, similar scenarios keep repeating in our lives to re-confirm these limiting beliefs – which make us believe they are true, and we keep reinforcing them.

But they are not! In fact, we can change them! Just as we have created them in our mind, we can change them to empowering beliefs.

And now the million-dollar question. 😊

So, what helped me find the most important piece to my puzzle? 🧩

And the answer is…. Coaching and EFT tapping. 😉

I started a coaching process with my wonderful mentor and friend Edith Rivas Pérez in 2019. I wanted some help and guidance to figure out my future project.

In February 2020 we realised I had a prior objective to work on, which was vital for me. It was to connect with myself and learn to value myself more. Accept that I’m perfectly imperfect! 😉🙃

I realised that the constant search outside was actually a search on the inside with myself. I finally found the key piece to my puzzle! 🧩 😊

The sessions of coaching with her, and the many sessions of tapping I did on myself, helped me reach this wonderful milestone, an encounter with myself, which is absolutely priceless! 🥰🥰

The lockdown period also helped me to focus and look more inward, since there were no external distractions.

I discovered that the insecurities and concerns I felt helped me get on that path, on that search and to reconcile with my past. Like an awakening! I learnt to be more kind towards myself, love myself, trust myself more and follow my intuition.

When this transformation happens and you accept yourself completely, you observe how other things change around you. You change, your attitude changes, your reaction towards others changes, which automatically also makes others change.

This has just been one transformation and there will be many others in life, which will probably go through a similar process. Life is a constant learning process, where we are continuously growing and evolving to be a better version of ourselves. Learning to be the best you!

You might feel a little identified with some of the experiences I shared and perhaps also a little relieved to know that you are not the only strange person (in a good way) in this world. In which case, welcome to the crazy club! 😉🙃

Writing this blog and exposing my emotions in front of the world was not an easy task for me. Those who are close to me know I’m a very private person. However, the experience of connecting with oneself is so beautiful, liberating and gratifying that I wanted to share it with others who might be experiencing something similar in life.

In this journey and process I have wanted to thank my friends and family who have been a great support.

To my dear coach, mentor and lovely friend Edith Rivas Pérez, who has been key in this transformation. My sounding board! She has supported and accompanied me throughout the process, holding my hand with a lot of patience. She believed in me and taught me to believe in myself. It has been a beautiful journey together and I’m forever grateful to her. Thank you! 🙏🏽🥰❤️

Last but not least I wanted to thank myself for taking the initiative and having the courage to go through this personal growth process which has helped me to become conscious and aware, and to rediscover myself.

I thank my past; if it weren’t for all the experiences I had (especially the bad ones), I probably wouldn’t be here today sharing it with you. I’m also grateful to my present for learning, observing and appreciating life.

And to my future, I’m leaving you this wonderful gift, this blog! A great reminder for the times I might doubt myself or feel a little scared. Because there will be such moments and it’s ok to feel these emotions; without judging and rejecting them. As my dear friend Edith would say, to learn to judge less and enjoy more. And to give ourselves the permission to choose whatever we want in life, without forgetting love and humour.

This blog will help me cheer up and remind me life is a constant learning curve, and we have all the resources we need within us.

I hope you have found this blog useful, and if you are going through similar struggles in life remember you are not alone. Believe in yourself, love yourself, give yourself permission, have fun and learn to “be your best friend!” 😉😊

If you have the opportunity, I suggest sharing and working with a mentor who can accompany you in the journey. It’s a lot more fun!

If you would like to share your thoughts or have any questions, please comment below. I would love to hear from you!

Thank you for reading the blog and hope you enjoyed it! 😊🙏🏽

Nisha Chabaldas

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