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  • Nisha Chabaldas

Learning to accept and let go

Updated: Oct 7, 2023

Hi there! It’s been a while since I wrote a blog and today, I wanted to talk to you about the importance of accepting and letting go in life.

One thing that’s constant in life is change, whether we like it or not. There are many types of changes in life, you grow from being an infant to a teenager to an adult. We go through changes in our bodies, change in relationships, change of jobs, change of cities or countries for some, and so on. As humans, we are constantly evolving.

If you look back a year ago you are probably not the same person you used to be. Some of your thoughts, beliefs, behaviours, perspectives might have changed, which is all part of your growth.

However, at times you go through to certain changes in life which you might find difficult to accept, to let go and acknowledge that the situation has changed, the relationship has changed, the feelings have changed, the attitude of others and including yours has changed.

Sometimes it can be hard to accept it, especially when the relationship meant a lot and you are trying to understand what happened, how, when and why it happened in order to fix it or perhaps to get closure.

Possibly you might go through some of these emotions or feelings at the same time, such as: anger, sadness, fear, guilt, feeling of being lost, feeling of abandonment, confusion, frustration. These are all valid, don't judge yourself or be hard on yourself for what you are feeling.

On some occasions you might get an opportunity to have an open communication, clear the misunderstandings and discuss the issue in a calm manner. Which would be the healthiest way to deal with the situation rather than suppressing your thoughts and feelings.

However, in some situations it might not be possible, maybe because the other person is not willing to have a conversation yet, or he/she has decided to set healthy boundaries and prioritise what's better for himself/herself, or simply you don’t get an opportunity, sometimes it's all down to timing. In which case, you will have to respect it and get your own closure.

Accept the situation and let go of the past for your own mental health and peace of mind. If you feel guilty for what happened, remember it takes two people to break a relationship, not just one. Yes, it can be painful and challenging, after all we are human beings, and we have feelings for people.

Painful because you are stuck in the hurt, in the past. Meanwhile you are missing out on your present and the new opportunities life is bringing you. Only you can decide how long you want to be entangled with your thoughts and feelings from the past. It only depends on you!

Challenging because you don’t want to accept that what happened is for a reason, subconsciously it has meaning behind it. Probably it was necessary for your growth and evolution in life. A wise person once told me “Life doesn't give us what we want, but what we need.”

You are a human being doing the best you can with all the information you have. If you recognise it, value it and appreciate yourself for this, you might learn to be kinder, more forgiving and loving to yourself.

Speak to your support system (friends & family) who’ll be more than happy to help you. If you need it, get professional help to work through your feelings and emotions.

Remember, when one door closes, there are many other doors that open. Perhaps you just need to look at a different direction to see all the new opportunities and possibilities which life will bring you.

Learn to forget, forgive (including yourself) and let go of the past. Not all the people you meet in life will be in your journey forever. Some might stay, some might share a part of it with you and leave, and some might come back. Just go with the flow and be open to the adventure of life.

To the people who left and shared a part of your journey with you, be grateful, thankful and honour the memories and moments shared together. Appreciate, cherish and be grateful for all the learnings it brought you. Wish them all the best and continue living and enjoying your beautiful journey, full of love, joy, peace and harmony.

Be kind to yourself, love yourself, laugh and enjoy life, respect and value yourself (even if some don’t, what matters is what you think of yourself), believe and trust yourself always! And remember, you can achieve anything you want!

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